Second Thoughts….
Am i really doing what i wanted to do? Was i really supposed to be a doctor?
These were the thoughts that entered my mind after read this post from this wonderful site called Lifereboot. Surprisingly the same thought has been going thru my mind for like the past 4 months. It’s funny because, being surrounded by doctors all around since childhood (Dad, Mom, uncle etc) all i wanted was to be a doctor. And i suck at Math anyway, so i couldn’t have been a Engineer, CA etc etc 
. And i guess i was to honest to be a lawyer 
So i was happy to get into medicine and remained happy till my under graduation.. All these changed when i entered my internship.
A month into my internship i discovered how different studying medicine and practicing medicine is. (at least here in India!). Just when i thought i can close my books for a brief period of one year, i discovered i had to learn even more to grasp the practical aspects. Although it was enjoyable, it was probably not what i expected. The practice of medicine – as of now – has been totally commercialized and businesslike. I wonder if i spend more time doing paperwork rather than seeing patients, just to save myself in case someone decides to sue me.
This was not the case ten years ago. This was not the case when my dreams of becoming a doctor sprouted. In my opinion, there is no honor in Medicine now. It’s just a business where doctors treat patients as cases and send them hefty bills, and a bullfight where the patient sues the doctor for no mistake of his. I know this doesn’t represent each and every doctor/patient, but this is the broad picture as of now. I wonder where it all begun to go wrong?
Only two days ago i happened to see this nice movie: Just like Heaven. Reese Witherspoon 
is a doctor in that movie and this is a convo form that movie.
“Reese Witherspoon: But what was I doing
with the rest of my time?When I think about my life and I…
All I can remember is working.You know? Working and working
and trying so hard.And for what?
Mark Buffalo: You help people.
You save lives.Reese Witherspoon: Yeah. Including my own.
I saved my life, for later.
I just…I never thought
there wouldn’t be a later.”
Those lines touched my heart. It’s just that we loose so much of our lives, just to help others, and most often it goes unappreciated. (I’m working on 24 hrs duty on the new year eve, while the rest of the world is partying and it sucks! It really does 
) I know Medicine Pays, and it pays well, but of late i find myself questioning whether is it worth the trouble?
I know i sound like i hate to be a doctor, but i really don’t. I guess each and every job has it’s own pitfalls and difficulties. My friends think I’m so lucky to be a doctor and i think that he is lucky to have a fixed hours job. Probably i would be whining like this, whatever job i got into 
. Guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
And as luck would have it, the only field that interests me is surgery and it’s hectic as hell.. I hope to get a residency in surgery, when i finish my internship few months from now.
Cheers for > tension and < life 
I guess I’m not ready for a re-boot yet, but I’m sure i will whenever begin to hate medicine.
Raghav.
P.S: What about You? Are you satisfied with your job? Have u ever had second thoughts about what you are doing/planning to do? Share :)
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About
Hi everyone!
I’m Raghav and I’m from Chennai…
I’m studying to be a doctor and right now I’m doing my internship, and i plan to pursue a residency in Surgery. I’ve been in the blogging world for the past 1 year and this is my third blog in eight months (the previous two blogs have been removed, Hope this doesn’t follow suit haha). This blog is to share my experiences and whatever little knowledge i have gained in the past few years, and to discuss interesting news and advances in the fields of medicine and to share health & fitness tips :P :D
Other than Surgery and Women :P, Computers, Photography and Tennis are my other interests, so i’ll ditch in an article about them too from time to time :)
Raghav.
Posted on: 28/12/2008
I’ve worked a bunch of different jobs in my life, all of which have been pretty mediocre. I’m still hoping to figure out what will finally cause me to wake up every day eager to get to work, because I love what I’m doing. I’d write full time if it actually paid the bills, but it doesn’t — or at least right now it doesn’t. Here’s to hoping for a positive future for everyone who desires it, and makes an effort to improve their place in life. Thanks for the link.
First of all, “Those lines touched my heart.” was so gay. [img]http://i42.tinypic.com/35lgl0i.gif[/img]
(Sorry Rag, you must have known I won’t be able to resist it :D)
Now I will try to make it up to you:
Everyone has second thoughts. When we dream of a job we want to do for the rest of our lives, we go through bunch of phases.
1. Childish: I wanna be a famous actor, singer etc. (it usually goes away by the age of 15, thank God)
2. Practical: I wanna make a lot of money. (This one unfortunately never goes away. lol)
3. Pragmatical: I have bad grades and I can’t be everything I want, so what’s the best I can do and/or I have great grades, so I have strong chances to pursue No. 2. :roll:
Those are just few of them.
And now we come to your case: I have to maintain family tradition. And you were really lucky with that one, be honest with yourself. :P Imagine your dad being a construction worker… Do you know how hard and filled with cheep booze your life would be?
But all good aspects of being a doctor aside (we all know them), there is one thing I couldn’t accept when I was pursuing my future: being forced to work with sick and miserable people all my life, and what is even worse, being forced to become insensitive to human suffering if I want to stay sane.
And than I chose “the next best thing” or to some, the best thing :P.
And let me tell you something…Once you start working the same thing day after day after day, it becomes tiring and you start questioning yourself no matter what you are doing.
So stop whining and try to enjoy in what you do no matter how hard it gets. You will miss one big party. So what? You can get drunk on any night of the year.
What other excuse do you have? :bleh:
BTW, please edit my emoticons. You can’t be the only one to have them. :mad:
It is simply not fair. :P
And why can’t I edit? :shifty:
@ Shaun: No problems! I ve already Recommended ur blog to some of my friends too :)
@ Nestor: U cant edit cos i have to approve ur posts first :P Anyway, surprisingly u made me feel better :P Guess i’ll have to get drunk on Jan 1 instead :D
That is so unfair. pffff
And why did you put a bacteria as my Avi? mad
Vengeance will be sweet.
If u don’t want bacteria as ur avatar, get a Gravatar (globally recognized avatar) at http://www.gravatar.com :P The bacteria is cool tho